Men Who E-Maintain Women: The Art of Texting “What’s Up?”

My friend Karen (all names changed to protect privacy) was confused and frustrated when she called me on a Friday night.

About a year ago, she met a guy, Michael, through work. They met a few times for drinks with colleagues and then one night, she met him for dinner, which ended with the two of them “hooking up” (whatever that means).

She liked Michael a lot, and wanted to see him again.

After they had dinner, a week went by when Karen got a text message from Michael, “What’s up? How are you?”

She was happy; he wanted to hang out again.

Now, Karen wishes that was the last time she ever heard from him.

As she explained the manner in which she and Michael were communicating, I realized Karen was dealing with a situation several other women very recently talked to me about.

Since their last night together, Michael kept in touch with Karen on a regular basis. Every couple of weeks, Karen received a text or email from him. The messages always started out the same way, “What’s up?”

Karen would always respond.

“How are you?”

“Good, what’s up with you?”

Karen would proceed to fill him in on her life and Michael would always respond with the same short answer, “That’s cool.”

After one or two text messages, Michael would usually disappear. But a couple of weeks later, he would show up again. Sometimes their conversations would go deeper—ten minutes of texting back and forth. Karen would find hope in those longer texting sessions, thinking that he was finally engaging with her.

Michael would sometimes get more creative, giving Karen the impression he cared about her and her life.

“What’s up? How was your holiday weekend?”

“What’s up? Saw your Facebook post, so funny.”

A couple times he even texted, “We should have dinner soon.”

But every time Karen agreed to dinner, Michael would tell her about his really busy month at work, delaying the need to schedule a real date. Then, he would never follow up.

This faux-relationship wasn’t going anywhere and Karen was left feeling confused and frustrated about Michael’s intentions.

But these sporadic texts weren’t even about sex. Michael never even proposed any sort of rendezvous. And Karen’s motivation was certainly not friendship. “I have enough friends,” she said.

“He’s not even trying to sleep with me, what’s the point of all this?”

I told her, “Karen you’re being e-maintained”

“Is that an official term?” she laughed.

The week before, I had come up with the term as a joke, but the idea actually made sense. Michael was maintaining her—keeping her, in his mind, satisfied—and he was doing it electronically.

My friend Julia was dealing with the same issue. She was subject to these short, rapid bursts of texting with men on a consistent basis and she always got her hopes up that something was moving forward, but there was nothing. No substance at all.

“Are these actual adult men with responsibilities or are they children? I can’t figure it out,” she said to me.

I’ve always been fascinated, and disgusted, by the notion that in order to be happy, women need to be “maintained” in a sexual and/or romantic relationship. This kind of treatment of women is on par with our taking care of a car in need of an oil change or dealing with a wood deck in the backyard in need of a coat of varnish.

The concept of maintaining women is billed, through the conditioning our culture imposes on men, as a solution to keep women from being hysterical. According to mainstream social ideas, women are illogical and crazy when it comes to relationships and dating. Men engage in conscious maintenance as a way to “calm” women down so they can get what they want from their women partners (sex, attention, etc.).

This is why so many men are in a rush to cram their love and affection into holidays, birthdays, anniversaries. We don’t teach men or boys that day-to-day affection is equally, if not more important, than special dates.

And what has always been alarming to me is that this so-called maintenance of women has defined behavior that shouldn’t be considered “extra” in any kind of relationship or partnership. Acts of maintenance consist of behavior that should be inherent and the foundation of all relationships: basic human respect, affection and attention.

So, if men are taught about certain critical steps to keeping women happy, “duties” that are treated not as normal behavior, but as annoying, time-consuming steps, how does this make women feel?

My friends, who are or were dealing with e-maintaining, or even just dealing with good-old-fashioned maintaining, are left in a strange, emotional limbo. Women who are “maintained” by men, electronic or otherwise, are made to feel legitimate for short periods of time and then left to question their position with their partners, and sometimes themselves.

Are these women supposed to be happy with a guy who stays in touch every-so-often on his terms? Are they supposed to be satisfied when their spouse buys them an expensive piece of jewelry or remembers their anniversary? Even though their love and/or attention come in waves—inconsistent and sometimes abrupt—are my women friends ungrateful for expecting something more, something more substantial, something more basic? Does any form of maintaining make up for days, weeks, months, years of emotional silence from men?

We’ve always conditioned men to maintain women—this isn’t something new. What’s different is this “maintenance” has become completely electronic for some men, and the men doing the “maintaining” aren’t seeing or even making an effort to see the women they connecting with. Men are just texting, emailing or using social media to give the impression they are checking in or they care—in order to maintain these women.

For these men, the definition of “maintenance” has shifted from traditional strategies like sending gifts and engaging in the occasional dinner, drinks or movie, to this incredibly convenient and empty form of communication based on text messages, emails, and social media: e-maintaining. And it is a mode of communication that isn’t even based in reality.

For some of my women friends, this kind of texting/emailing communication was keeping them engaged until they discovered what e-maintaining really means.

Some of the men I spoke with didn’t even realize their e-maintaining of women was a pattern of behavior. Most of them admitted to doing it when they were bored: waiting at the doctor’s office, in bed at night when they couldn’t sleep, at the airport.

But many of these men knew exactly what they were doing.

“You can’t write about this, you are literally ruining the greatest scam of the century,” my friend Carlos told me over breakfast.

“What’s the scam?”

“I can keep these women satisfied by just texting or emailing. I don’t have to do anything else.”

“It’s like walking a dog, as soon as you do it, they just calm down,” a progressive friend (more on that later) told me via email that same day.

So why not move forward, especially if some of these women are willing to sleep with them?

“Its about options, possibilities,” a friend added.

“I do this because I don’t want to hear her bitching about how I just call about sex, so this way I have a history of having stayed in touch.”

My friend Josh gave an example, “Last Thanksgiving when everyone was out of town, I had someone to hookup with, we even went to the movies.”

In this age of digital communication (texting, Facebook, email), our way of connecting has obviously become more frivolous. While our random, electronic check-ins with friends are usually made with good intentions, the men who engage in e-maintaining don’t want to be friends with the women they text and email (the women don’t want friendship either), and more significantly, their texting is not filled with good intentions.

So, is e-maintaining ultimately about men and women placing different weight on communication? Do women believe that communication is about moving forward—are they being practical and mature? And do men see communication in this form in a more flippant manner, that it doesn’t necessarily lend legitimacy to their desired outcomes?

Is e-maintaining more evidence of gender imbalance in our culture? Does this virtual maintenance of women show the lack of respect our culture requires or expects men to have for women?

Last week, I checked in with Karen to see if she was still pining for Michael and frustrated by his e-maintaining.

She has moved on.

And from now on, Karen’s policy is very simple when it comes to communicating with the men she is interested in, “Where’s the beef?”

The lack of substance in an e-maintained relationship no longer satisfies her.
———–

I hope you will join me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter.

Click Here To Join The E-Mail List For My First Book

Send to Kindle
Avatar of Yashar

35 Responses to “Men Who E-Maintain Women: The Art of Texting “What’s Up?””

  1. Avatar of Vipassana
    Vipassana April 3, 2013 at 1:52 pm #

    Well, women who want a man of Love have to stand up for Love – which is actually a high art – but one that is native to our biology, imho…

    We have the option to not indulge the hookup/hooker mentality and lifestyle. We have the option to stare down the illusory b.s. in ourselves and in men, until Love is all there is. It feels much better than expanding our collection of “Men who text” or “Men who add us to the rotaing directory” or “Men who court us for the purpose of uncommitted sex and non-collaboration.”

  2. Avatar of horace
    horace April 3, 2013 at 11:58 am #

    I’m not entirely sure what the guys did wrong in this article. Anyone who gets laid, and then allows that partner to screw with her via text for months needs to get her shit together. She wasn’t the victim. She was a willing accomplice. The guys are just going after what they want (to always have sexual options). Women should do the same and go after what they want, and if they don’t want to merely be an option, then don’t be. Simple as that. My mother had a hand-written quote stuck to our fridge for years growing up: “Settle for what you got, you’ll deserve what you get.” Articles like this (and almost all of the comments on it) skirt the idea of personal responsibility for one’s actions, in favor of the idea of “here’s how chicks get victimized by dudes.”

  3. Avatar of Starling
    Starling April 3, 2013 at 11:50 am #

    And this is just so stupid for us girls to believe, that there is something nice and friendly behind these empty boring messages. Some of us are so eager to think, that a guy actually cares about what’s happening our my life. While this is just nothing, there’s no caring or not interest to our personalities behind it. And yes – I am one of these girls. Just studying to be smarter.

    Yashar, thanks so much for your articles. Such a rare thing, that a men understands women and truly cares.

  4. Avatar of Kymberlee
    Kymberlee April 3, 2013 at 10:25 am #

    I appreciate this issue being discussed but I have to say that I think all genders on the spectrum play a part in this dynamic. Nothing is this binary.

    Yashar does a wonderful job of talking about the emotional abuse that often happens in a society that is used to controlling, owning and objectifying women rather than venerating them. That being said, it’s important to understand that we are ALL affected by these issues. People who engage in these dynamics–of either gender have been hurt by the oppressive culture we’re all steeped in. Men are often told not to feel or worse, made to feel ashamed for any type of vulnerability which leads them to putting up all kinds of barriers to intimacy with themselves and others. Many of us do this.

    Men are objectified for their money, their strength and their power and this hurts us all. If we are ever to get out of these dynamics, we need to be sure we are taking responsibility for our own actions and feelings. Also good to bring some understanding and compassion into the mix. I find that asking why is this happening helps a lot. That doesn’t excuse the behavior but helps me to see beyond and through into a different, often more inclusive, truth.

    Thanks, Yashar, for making us aware that e-maintaining happens. Now let’s ALL make sure we don’t do that. No need to feel like victims. Let’s be creators of our own joy, eh?

  5. Avatar of PuzzledInTexas
    PuzzledInTexas April 22, 2012 at 10:11 am #

    Fabulous post! It describes behavior that is one of the primary calling cards for something that has baffled me for years and years. I’ve met one type of man over and over during this time. In fact he’s about the ONLY man I’ve met in the past five years.

    For conversational purposes I’ll call this species the Socially Impotent Man (SIM). For the last five years as a single, successful professional woman I’ve encountered this man in every social setting imaginable: online, at work, at play, through friends, and via past connections.

    Be on the lookout. Socially Impotent Man trolls all the hottest local social events, your Meetup groups, your bike rides, business mixers and online dating sites. And he demonstrates the unmistakable symptoms. He:

    - Is a classic e-maintainer, especially like the “we should get together sometime” message.
    - Likes or winks at your dating profile hoping YOU will respond to HIM.
    - Overtly flirts in social settings every time he sees you, especially after a drink or two, yet NOTHING.
    - Frequently tells you how he’s been attracted to you for months (or even years).

    So what the &#** am I supposed to do with this other than smile and reply politely that I’d love to go out with him when he strikes? After all, we’re taught by our female elders that men have fragile egos and need encouragement, right? Excuse me while I throw up a little.

    There are at least 5 or 6 of these guys actively circling the wagons in my life at any time. And I’m about to go postal if I have to deal with one more guy coming up to me at a social function I attend monthly and telling me after a drink or two that he’s attracted to me, yet doing nothing to close a date. Some of these guys have watched me for months or years and left hints about wanting to go out. This tendency to attract “fans” who have no place in any real relationship experience is getting nauseating. Really.

    Where have all the deal-closers gone!?

    Being a self-aware believer in the concept that what I attract in my life has everything to do with the quality of the energy I put into my life I’m still stumped. I’m sure there is a message somewhere about something personal…my own feminine power after a gut-wrenching divorce? Or is it a belief in my own “male” ability to be successful in the world that still needs a boost after 30 years of performing exceptionally in so many ways? I just don’t get it. But whatever the message is I won’t rest until I figure it out.

    Or are we simply raising incredibly ineffective, socially lazy men in our culture?

    If I only knew…

    Interesting body of work you have here, Yashar! I look forward to digging deeper.

  6. Avatar of JYR
    JYR September 28, 2011 at 7:19 am #

    I simply say that this article is remedial at best. The bigger concern is that men AND women do not understand the basic fundamentals of what it takes to simply “communicate” these days. Our society has become socially retarded whereas we fail to extend the courtesy of personal interaction (face to face or phone) to handle “issues” that arise. No one ever imagined “breaking up” or “falling in love” over a status update but this has become the norm unfortunately. I have seen people heartbroken over the status update of someone they were in a “relationship” with before and I think it’s all cooky to say the least. I have seen girls that I have “dated” online one day change their status the next day (or sometimes the same day) as well as post pictures with their new beaus. They then go on and on about how they were engaged or in a new relationship and in a joyous state of bliss…please! If the poor soul only knew what she was really up to he’d be mortified. (I know women get that too…I know some guys that have done the same thing when “breaking” up or moving on.)

    I think we fundamentally need to all evaluate where we are going as a society and begin to get back to reality and unplug from the matrix…for the good, bad, or whatever truth is out there is.

  7. Avatar of AndThatsWhyYoureSingle
    AndThatsWhyYoureSingle September 27, 2011 at 3:08 pm #

    I think what was going on here is that the women in the story were receiving mass texts. Essentially, the guy sends out the same text to several women. The message is always innocuous and devoid of anything specific or customized. Whomever replies first and is available gets the date. The rest of the women, even those who reply, Get Dismissed and are left wondering what the hell just happened. The guys in these situations aren’t really maintaining anything. They’re simply putting their bait in to the water. Next time you get a text like this, simply delete it. But as long as there are women out there who respond to this behavior, these men will continue to do it. Criticizing them is only half the battle. The next part of the fight is to get women to stop engaging these men. If we’re not going to take responsibility for our participation in the problem, then we’re complicit.

    @ATWYSBlog
    http://www.andthatswhyyouresingle.com

    • Avatar of scdg1983
      scdg1983 August 8, 2012 at 11:20 am #

      You’re so right, we women are half the problem. They are in the wrong but we let them get away with it.

    • Avatar of horace
      horace April 3, 2013 at 12:11 pm #

      I’d agree, except for the idea that these guys are doing something wrong. They’re just trying to get what they want: options. If women don’t want that, then they shouldn’t respond to it. There’s nothing morally wrong with it though. Sometimes you have to use the shotgun approach, especially when you don’t have the natural looks or game for sniping, especially when so many women are also using the shotgun approach these days. This is certainly true of online dating, in which I’ve learned the hard way not to get too attached these days, knowing that if I go on a first date with a woman, I’m probably one of several dates for her in the the surrounding 2-week span.

  8. Avatar of thoughts123
    thoughts123 September 27, 2011 at 1:31 pm #

    This is great post/story/blog :)..my friend and I have been discussing this. I have been wondering if some traveling guys send a “good night” and “good morning” text to a distribution list of a woman in each city they travel to for work – every day…then you are talking efficient multi-maintenance.

    I am an avid texter..she does not believe in texting. I told her that it is hard to date if you are not texting because this is how men communicate now.

    I think women are guilty too of e-maintaining..here is my story — as late 37+ woman dating an early 51+ guy..I got in to trouble as an avid texter. I work in technology and have become used to communicating via text and instant message..work long global hours and am sometimes on calls all day so the last thing I want to do is make a phone call and it is often hard to receive phone calls since I am always on the phone at work. My older x-boy-friend did not appreciate this much… he complained of not feeling a connection while I greatly enjoyed and looked forward to his very funny text messages. I really liked him and we had a great time when in person. He was not down with the e-maintaining and I got dumped…what a shame…he was such a great guy.

    If a person calls you versus texting does this mean they love you more?Should it matter which way they communicate as long as they are communicating something?

    • Avatar of charro
      charro November 16, 2011 at 9:07 am #

      This is written with the insight of a high school student. Because of it’s length, I figured that at some point the author would acknowledge that this ‘maintaining’ isn’t something that’s being done ‘to women’ – as if women have no part part or say in this – but, very simply, women are allowing it to take place. And the psychological insight into the ‘maintaining man’s” brain is, well, mindless and amateurish, as men are more likely to reach out to many different women in this way as a method of ‘collecting’, hoping to find some kind of emotional validation through the upkeep of assorted admirers. It usually has nothing to do with the individual woman, as she would just be replaced by another, so if your friends find themselves in this situation how about asking them why they continue to engage with these men and what it is they might be getting out of the interaction?

  9. Avatar of ooshrooms
    ooshrooms September 25, 2011 at 9:49 pm #

    The story you describe is a very different problem than maintaining a woman in a relationship. Traditional maintaining is what a lazy or inconsiderate guy does to a woman he cares about. Typically after the honeymoon phase, he pays less attention, so his romantic gestures become sloppy and less frequent. He probably still cares but lost enthusiasm, so he maintains her. It’s a problem of relative fulfillment within a relationship.
    The story you tell has a key difference. They’re not in a committed relationship. Michael is keeping Karen “on the hook.” He’s not interested in a relationship with her right now, but he’s trying to keep her interested in him. Without occasional sparks of communication, she’ll realize it’s not going anywhere, and she’ll move on. He could be doing it in case he becomes more interested later for one reason or another. He might just be using her to get that feeling of being desired or to have sex. It has nothing to do with avoiding her getting “hysterical” but rather bored or disenfranchised with the situation.
    It’s something players and other selfish and needy people do. The women may see it as a budding relationship that is stalling, but to the men it’s not. To them, the women are just hookups, sexual objects, not people, and there may be more than one at a time. It’s about wanting different things in a relationships probably combined with an honesty problem.

  10. Avatar of LazyL
    LazyL September 21, 2011 at 11:11 am #

    Good on you, MochaMama42! The modern equivalent of “just because the phone rings, doesn’t mean you have to answer it”! So glad I’m no longer dating in the world of texting!

    I can’t be bothered with typing when I’m texted for any reason — I just call the person back. It’s faster.

    We have a friend who will not answer his phone and only texts — it’s how he keeps from actually engaging with us, even if we’re just asking a question. A bad use of technology and emotionally silly.

    BTW, these men aren’t “maintaining” — they’re stringing along and maximizing their options. Women need to see texting as an emotionless easy escape from actually engaging, set their boundaries and move on.

    • Avatar of A guy trying to learn
      A guy trying to learn September 22, 2011 at 2:41 am #

      Hi -

      This is my first post on this site. One way I react to this discussion is to realize that many folks, whether men and women, have somewhat different communications styles from whatever one person may think of as the ‘norm’. Some people prefer person-to-person, some prefer reading messages, some hate the phone or hate texting, and so on. Also, individuals often reflect a wide range of willingness to open up to other people. Some people are very wary of being hurt and reveal themselves only reluctantly; others may dump their life history on you over the first drink. But just because one person may have a different preference in communicating with others or in self-revelation does not necessarily reflect their gender. I am not convinced that males and females are that different on this topic. Sure, both genders are acculturated to behave in certain ways, and each social group develops its own norms. But once this factor is considered, a lot of this could simply be individual patterns based more on personalities than gender. Stating it primarily as a gender difference is, therefore, misleading to me and diverts the discussion from hte main message – the importance of understanding and accepting the communications and personality differences of others – and into male-female relations. They are of course connected, but I gain more insight focusing on the former topic and not the latter topic.

    • Avatar of Dana
      Dana September 26, 2011 at 10:13 am #

      Personally, if it didn’t cost extra, I prefer texting to typing not because I want to maintain distance but because my phone’s tiny, I’d get a crick in my neck, and Bluetooth and headsets have iffy reliability at best. It is very easy, when texting or IMing, to maintain a conversation with minimum physical discomfort. It is also easier for me to read words than to understand what I’m hearing. I’m not hearing-impaired, but if there’s a lot of noise around me, I can have trouble parsing what I’m hearing.

      I would not judge someone merely on their preference for texting. Look to see what they do with it. If you’re that determined to equate verbal communication with emotional closeness then why don’t you visit the person instead of calling them on the phone?

      • Avatar of A guy trying to learn
        A guy trying to learn September 26, 2011 at 10:40 am #

        I agree. Sometimes we read way too much into another person’s statement or behavior and end up misunderstanding them. If you are, or know, a person with communications difficulties you know what I am saying. You may wonder why a friend never texts you back but always calls you. You may develop your own explanation for why they do that. Maybe it has something to do with their gender? Well, did you ever stop and think that perhaps they are dyslexic and hate admitting it? Or maybe they have arthritis in their hands and do not like typing but don’t want other people’s pity?

        Not everything we say or do in our lives is gender-based.

  11. Avatar of Christen
    Christen September 20, 2011 at 4:34 pm #

    Major lightbulb moment here.

    A couple of years ago, I had a one-night stand with a guy I’d met through mutual friends. After we parted ways in the morning I discovered I’d left my necklace (which was one of my favorites) at his apartment. I texted him about it, saying maybe we could get together for a pint sometime and he could get it back to me then. He texted back (and I swear I am not making this up), “Your necklace is mine forever more, but beer tastes good, so yeah, let’s get a drink sometime.” When I texted back asking what nights he’d be free next week, I got nothing. Not wanting to appear weird or stalker-y, I laid low for a couple of weeks, then texted him again. The entire script pretty much repeated. Then finally, I explained that I hadn’t left my necklace at his place on purpose, that it wasn’t an excuse to see him again, that if he wanted to get together that was fine but that I really, really, really wanted this thing back and he could just put it in the mail if getting together was too much of a headache. He immediately got back to me suggesting we get together that Friday for a drink.

    I did run into him in the midst of all of this, at a bar in our neighborhood, when we were both out with the friends through whom we’d met. He and his friend were on the way out but he pulled me aside to kiss me goodnight before he left. He also kissed me after getting my necklace back to me, but of course I didn’t hear from him again (not until a year later, when I ran into him again and he asked me to come home and make out with him). I felt stupid for not laying down the law and setting boundaries much earlier, but I also couldn’t figure out what was going on in his head. The keep-away game is an additional level of manipulation, but the “yeah, we should totally hang out sometime” stuff, I just didn’t get. Why not just cut me off? Why not just get the damn thing back to me and shut me up? Why make empty promises to get together? Why act affectionate in public and then blow me off? Between this and the gaslighting post, though, now, I get it. What a depressing way to go through life, though.

  12. Avatar of yourspiritualtruth
    yourspiritualtruth September 20, 2011 at 11:25 am #

    What this article also illuminates is that women have been socialized to put up with this crap. Really? This is all we deserve? Come on ladies, set some boundaries, expectations and stand by them. We deserve to be more than just “maintained.” If we love ourselves enough, we know what we want in a partnership and we accept nothing less. We deserve better….and so do our daughters!

    Lauri Lumby
    Authentic Freedom Ministries
    http://yourspiritualtruth.com

  13. Avatar of MikeFromCanada
    MikeFromCanada September 19, 2011 at 4:30 pm #

    “Is e-maintaining more evidence of gender imbalance in our culture? Does this virtual maintenance of women show the lack of respect our culture requires or expects men to have for women?”

    I have to disagree. I mean, without any real evidence, studies, or statistics, it’s really all speculation and is very subjective.

    For example, I will assume that most women would agree with the author here. (I’m assuming for the basis of discussion and I’m not trying to stereotype here) I will also assume that the majority of a woman’s friends are female. (such as the majority of a man’s friends are most likely male.) So to a female perspective, it would be easy to see that perhaps most men are e-maintainers. For instance, they will get together for lunch and share their stories on these e-maintaining boyfriends. So from their perspective, it forms a conclusion in their mind. That because they only hear of e-maintaining men, they feel that perhaps it’s a male issue.

    In my experiences though, it is the other way around. One of my best friends was in a relationship with a woman, who would only call him if she wanted something. If she felt they were moving apart (which they did often, it was on and off for over a year) she would simply text him sexual things she wanted to do, or send pictures of herself.

    Like I said, it really is speculation so I don’t want to speak in absolutes. But it seems to me that most men will feel it is a female issue, while most women will see it as a male issue.

  14. Avatar of MochaMama42
    MochaMama42 September 19, 2011 at 3:49 pm #

    Unfortunately, random texts seem to be the way most people, particularly men, communicate. It’s funny, I even shared with a man about 8 months ago that I do NOT answer random texts & that if he’d like to make plans with me, call me, as I was more likely to respond to a phone message.
    He continued to text me randomly (12 Midnight, 8am, always odd hours, & what was even more strange was we didn’t have a relationship nor had we gone out at that juncture. We did finally meet for dinner & he asked me about the random texts he sent me & my answer was if they were as inconsistent & such the afterthought as he described them, I knew I didn’t & wouldn’t be answering them, period. He continued sending random texts but I never responded after a second conversation & his lack of follow through on another potential date.
    More people just really need to be very definite about what they want when interacting with someone, and how to maintain their interaction that is satisfactory to both parties. As your friend mentioned, I don’t need any more friends, & if one is infrequent with communicating, how can we even being to develop a friendship?

Trackbacks/Pingbacks:

  1. Men Who E-Maintain Women: The Art of Texting &l... - April 9, 2013

    [...] Women who are “maintained” by men, electronic or otherwise, are made to feel legitimate for short periods of time and then left to question their…  [...]

  2. The Pretty “Pimp” « The Male Influence (and some less significant) - February 18, 2013

    [...] phone anymore..men need to pick up the phone. I read a good blog about the phenomenon, e-maintaning http://thecurrentconscience.com/blog/2011/09/19/men-who-e-maintain-women-the-art-of-texting-whats-up…I diligently text back, “Boy, [...]

  3. How To Greet A Girl On Text | Text a Girl - December 14, 2012

    [...] http://thecurrentconscience.com/blog/2011/09/19/men-who-e-maintain-women-the-art-of-texting-whats-uphttp://textagirl.org/what-to-text-a-girl-in-middle-school/ [...]

  4. What To Text A Girlfriend | Text a Girl - December 10, 2012

    [...] http://www.chacha.com/question/how-can-i-turn-my-guy-on-over-the-phone-or-through-text http://thecurrentconscience.com/blog/2011/09/19/men-who-e-maintain-women-the-art-of-texting-whats-uphttp://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110712224257AANFKxO This entry was tagged [...]

  5. Your Questions About Sport Watches For Women | Buy Sport Watches Online - June 18, 2012

    [...] #4: Casio Women’s LCF30-1B Tough Solar Ana-Digi Sport WatchMen Who E-Maintain Women: The Art of Texting “What’s Up [...]

  6. Ladies, it’s got a mind of its own. Doesn’t need your validation so get over fake orgasm. « Soul whispers - March 30, 2012

    [...] I’ve noted in earlier posts, we condition men to maintain women, to keep them satisfied on a periodic basis. We don’t [...]

  7. Are you being e-maintained? | WeLike - December 29, 2011

    [...] explains it best in his article where he [...]

  8. I dis-? this very much « ? A Girl Named Tamiko - October 22, 2011

    [...] at work.)…but holy crap, I will admit defeat and say that I have been e-maintained (or here). This.is.horrifying. Although confessing that I’ve been had is so very hard for me, [...]

  9. Friday Sex Links! « Sex with Timaree - October 21, 2011

    [...] Keeping women on the hook with periodic texts and no follow through. [...]

  10. He Doesn’t Deserve Your Validation: Putting The Fake Orgasm Out of Business | The Current Conscience - October 3, 2011

    [...] I’ve noted in previous columns, we condition men to maintain women, to keep them satisfied on a periodic basis. We don’t [...]

  11. I’m Blaming the Interwebs … « nrgendersocialmedia - September 30, 2011

    [...] because I can just text you so you know I’m alive and that I ‘care’ (just like: http://thecurrentconscience.com/blog/2011/09/19/men-who-e-maintain-women-the-art-of-texting-whats-up…) Now that we can FaceTime and Skype and instant message on our ‘babies’, we don’t [...]

  12. Troy Davis, The Death Penalty, and The Power of Law Enforcement Unions | The Current Conscience - September 29, 2011

    [...] Men Who E-Maintain Women: The Art of Texting “What’s Up?” [...]

  13. Let it be known: E-maintenance AIN’T GONNA CUT IT « thefeelgoodwoman - September 27, 2011

    [...] is a term I must credit to this man’s [very woman-supportive!] blog, The Current Conscience: Men Who E-Maintain Women: The Art of Texting “What’s Up?” I encourage you all to browse this blog. It is very thought-provoking and [...]

  14. The Key To Success: Be A Man | The Current Conscience - September 26, 2011

    [...] Men Who E-Maintain Women: The Art of Texting “What’s Up?” [...]

  15. E-Maintaining Follow-Up: Men Who Outsource Thoughtfulness | The Current Conscience - September 22, 2011

    [...] posting Monday’s column about the concept of e-maintaining (and my exploration of men maintaining women, in general), [...]

Leave a Reply:

Gravatar Image

You must be logged in to post a comment.